I worried I wasn't strong enough to do this...but I did it!
Recently, a new client shared her dream of wanting to run a half marathon, but quickly threw out a disclaimer during our conversation. “You know, I’m probably not strong enough for the challenge right now. I really should lose more weight, go the gym regularly, and find a time that works better for me,” she shared.
“Is that true”? I asked her. “How do you know you are not strong enough?” I remember asking myself the same question when I did my first long distance bike ride and when I decided to join our local volunteer fire department. “Geez, can I really do this?” “Am I strong enough?” “What am I thinking?”
During the conversation with my client, we gradually peeled away layers of fear, self-doubt, and even an apprehension about succeeding… because, well, if we do the thing we say we want to do and we complete it, well, “then what”? My client figured out how her thinking often holds her back from the things she says she wants. This can happen when we decide to go after something that is important to us.
Do you ever find yourself struggling with follow through? Does your thinking ever hold you back? When it comes to health and wellness, or testing our own resolve, follow through can often feel like a slippery slope. We can create lots of reasons why NOT to do something new, challenging, maybe even risky. But, there are a few things that can also help us when we are determined to jumpstart our own follow through.
Here are a few steps you can take the next time you are ready to follow through on a dream or goal and find yourself holding back. I continue to practice these steps personally and share them with clients who are determined to live on the other side of following through.
1. Be clear on what you want to accomplish and ask yourself, “Why?” If your goal is to lose 10 pounds or to exercise regularly, get to the bottom of this desire. What will being 10 pounds lighter or exercising regularly give you? When a goal ties directly to a core value (something that is truly important to you), then it is more likely to be something you will want to follow through on. If you’ve chosen a wellness goal that begins with the word “should”, you might want to re-think and ask, “What is the outcome I want to achieve and why?”
2. Notice your own internal chatter about this goal. What does your “inner critic” say about this goal? In coaching, the inner critic is often referred to as “monkey mind.” This is our own internal chatter and it often messes with logic and reason and keeps us in “status quo” and even prevents us from achieving our goals and dreams. What is your inner critic saying? Monkey mind likes to remind us that we are either “not enough” or “too much” of something. For example, “I’m not strong enough or smart enough or brave enough or I’m too old, too young, too smart.” Don’t let monkey mind talk you out of something before you begin. The first step in managing this internal chatter is to identify what it’s saying and ask yourself, “Is this message helping or hurting me?”
3. Next, develop an empowering belief and say it every day. This is your reminder to believe in yourself. “I am smart enough. I am resourceful. I am strong enough.” Make your statement powerful and something that energizes you.
4. Find an accountability partner. As a coach, I believe this is one of the most important benefits of coaching. Find someone who you can check in with, an accountability partner, who supports your wellness goal and will encourage you, push you, and remind you about why you are doing this in the first place. Consider hiring your own coach and spend a few sessions getting clear on your goals and dreams and let your coach help you create action to move you forward.
5. Finally, spend time in reflection. Most days we rush from one thing to the next and don’t make time for our goals and dreams or we sabotage what we say we want. Use a journal to reflect on your goals, what you want to do, why it is important, and what is getting in the way. Ask yourself, “What’s working?” And “What’s not?” Break down the goal into smaller manageable steps.
Following through is something we all wrestle with. It’s up to us to quiet the inner chatter and stop second guessing ourselves. We can choose to be courageous and bold, to trust ourselves and to go after the things that we truly want and to start living.
--Dawn